Loony goony brave little toaster1/13/2024 Mister Toussaint pored over his refrigerator’s diagnostics and logfiles, and soon enough, he had the answer. The refrigerator hummed smugly at him.īut the food hadn’t been spoiled. “Why did you throw away all my food?” he demanded. He’dgotten it from an enthusiastically smiling young woman on the metro2 platform the day before. Or rather, it was almost empty: there was a single pouch of energy drink sitting on a shelf in the back. It was mysteriously empty, even though it had been full that morning. Furious, Mister Toussaint confronted his refrigerator. His refrigerator had sent in the list, and she had the signed order to prove it. But Miz Rousseau told him that he had ordered the food. I don’t need this stuff and besides, I can’t pay for it.” he called up Miz Rousseau, the grocer, and said, “Why have you sent me all this food? My fridge is already full of delicious things. ![]() 300 euros’ worth of groceries on his doorstep. ![]() "It's getting hot and sticky and I'm not playing any games, you'd better get me out before I burst into flames!""Just looking for embers," they claimed.It was mysteriously empty, even though it had been full that morning.Or rather, it was almost empty: there was a single pouch of energy drink sitting on a shelf in the back.he demanded.But the food hadn't been spoiled.It was the energy beverage, of course."Row, row, row your boat," it sang.he demanded.So he took out everything in the bin, one piece at a time."No you're not," Mister Toussaint said.They'd even shrinkwrapped their machine-guns. ?Furious, Mister Toussaint confronted his refrigerator.The refrigerator hummed smugly at him.Mister Toussaint began to suspect that the pouch was some kind of stupid Internet of Things4 prank.The next day, Mister Toussaint came home and discovered that the overflowing rubbish was still sitting in its little bag under the sink."Excuse me if I'm chattery, I do not mean to nattery, but I'm a mercury battery!"LOONY GOONY's singing voice really got on Mister Toussaint's nerves.The entire station had been evacuated and the police wore full biohazard containment gear.?But Miz Rousseau told him that he had ordered the food."Why haven't you emptied yourself?""What toxic substances?"You've probably guessed what the trouble was.Mister Toussaint tried the microwave."I'm a ferrous5 lump of steel!"They were waiting for him on the platform, and they cuffed him just as soon as he stepped off the train.It would do anything Mister Toussaint asked it to do. I don't need this stuff and besides, I can't pay for it."His refrigerator had sent in the list, and she had the signed order to prove it. ?he called up Miz Rousseau, the grocer, and said, "Why have you sent me all this food? My fridge is already full of delicious things. "I don't mean to endanger your abode, but if you don't let me out, I'm going to explode!"Mister Toussaint pored over his refrigerator's diagnostics and logfiles, and soon enough, he had the answer.The label said that the drink was called LOONY GOONY and it promised ONE TRILLION TIMES MORE POWERFUL THAN ESPRESSO!!!!!ONE11!The trashcan told him that toxic substances had to be manually sorted.Even the cleverest squeezy-pouch couldn't survive a good nuking.He'dgotten it from an enthusiastically smiling young woman on the metro2 platform the day before.He chucked the pouch in the rubbish can and put his new groceries away.The can had not cycled it through the trapdoor to the chute that ran to the big collection-point at ground level, 104 storeys below.So ![]() ?The dishwasher wouldn't wash it ("I don't mean to annoy or chafe, but I'm simply not dishwasher safe!").LOONY GOONY sang loudly, but the toaster ignored it. "I'm no drink and I'm no meal," LOONY GOONY sang. ![]() ?"I hate you," Mister Toussaint said to LOONY GOONY, and he stuck it in his coat pocket.But the microwave wouldn't switch on. The windows wouldn't retract their safety screen to let it drop, but that wasn't much of a surprise. Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, I'm offgassing ethylene."3 Mister Toussaint sniffed the pouch suspiciously.The toilet wouldn't flush it ("I don't belong in the bog, because down there I'm sure to clog!"). ?300 euros' worth of groceries on his doorstep."Gently down the stream. One day, Mister Toussaint came home to find an extra
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